Song: Cold Blue Night – Lbrn. , Answer
Today I want to talk about home. More specifically the idea of ‘going home’. I think a lot about the difference between where my childhood home is versus my chosen home. Getting on a plane back to Vancouver was slightly bittersweet this time in a way that it hadn’t previously been. I felt unsettled and a bit out of step with West Coast lifestyle – a lifestyle I had lived with for the majority of my life. It’s slow, relaxed, hedonistic, and frankly pretty happy. I grew up eating the tomatoes and cucumbers out of my garden and lying on the beach just down the road with my friends till dark.
Flash forward and life in London is very different. If you’re not moving out of the way, someone will make sure you do. It’s easy to crawl home and lie on the couch for hours or just pick up a Tescos meal deal on the way home because you just can’t be bothered to muster up the energy to make anything other than pasta. Even at that, a part of you knows you can’t have pasta for the 5th night in a row. Yet as depressing as all of that sounds, you find ways to let yourself become the breathing network of where you choose to be. In my own case, it’s being split between Scotland and London. But no matter where you are, your chosen home, in many ways, becomes endearingly a part of who you grow to be. I don’t revel in Tescos meal deals and the comfort of my own couch on rainy days, rather I love the Italian deli down the road who shout ‘C’iao Bella!’ when I walk in the door and I love the fact that most days end with sitting on the balcony, rain or shine, sipping a glass of red wine.
I think there are many ways to make a house a home and part of that is the attitude you choose to adopt. Vancouver will always hold a spot in my heart. I will always love that you can lie on the beach knowing there is nothing due and the way you can hike up the mountain and see over the entire city. In many ways, I suppose that’s the same feeling I get hiking through the highlands or standing at the top of a skyscraper. You can take the girl out of the West Coast, but you can’t take the West Coast out of the girl.
2 weeks after landing, I feel home again. My shoulders have stopped tensing, I’ve stopped speed walking everywhere and I’m not blindingly pale anymore. It’s made me realize that a home will always be a home – you just have to adjust your attitude a bit. But for now, you can find me lying on the beach or getting some food and drinks downtown feeling very much back at this home and feeling very much a Vancouverite.